Conflict, Understanding, and Relationships: Developments and Differences in the Preschool Years

Children's conflict management in three close relationships was studied longitudinally in 38 second born children, observed at home with their mothers and siblings at 33 months and at 47 months, and with friends at 47 months. Children used significantly more other-oriented argument with friends than with their mothers or siblings. Their use of reasoned argument with their siblings, but not their mothers, was related to their emotional understanding assessed formally at 40 months. The emotional context of conflict interactions was found to be important as an influence on children's use of reasoned argument, with less reasoning shown by children when they were upset at 33 months. The differences in patterns over time and in links with emotional understanding for these different relationships is discussed, and the significance of child-child interaction in the development of social understanding is highlighted.