The Challenge of Being Present with Yourself: Exploring the Lived Experience of Individuals with Complex Dissociative Disorders

Abstract Aim The objective of this study was to explore how clients with severe dissociative symptoms describe their experiences of being present in their everyday life. The data in this study stems from a large study conducted at a trauma–outpatient clinic in (LOCATION REMOVED FOR PEER REVIEW). Method 16 participants underwent in-depth interviews six months after a twenty- week group treatment based on psychoeducational stabilization for dissociative disorders. These interviews and participants were part of a larger study, and the interviews in this article are the first 16 of many interviews. Hermeneutic-phenomenological thematic analysis was used to analyze the transcripts. Results Four themes were identified: 1)“Being present: To be here and now, and remember it afterward,” 2)“ To not be present: avoiding challenges but challenged by their inner life,” 3)“Being present in a Fragmented Sense of Self,” and 4)“Bearing the consequences of not being present in your own life.” Discussion The findings are discussed in relation to existing theory and research, and reflexivity in the process and limitations of the study are considered. Conclusion The results indicate that the experience of being present is an important part of the struggles the participants describe in their everyday lives, as well as a part of the challenges of living with a dissociative disorder. Implications The findings indicate that focusing on the ability of staying present could be an important part of treatment of and how we meet and understand dissociative disorders.