Dr. Strangelove or: how I learned to stop worrying and love the citations

Citations are getting more and more important in the career of a researcher. But how to use them in the best possible way? This is a satirical paper, showing a bad trend currently happening in citation trends, due to intensive use of citation metrics. I am putting this on the arXiv and on Researchgate. Should you be interested to publish this paper on a journal of which you are editor, let me know.